The Ways of Circumventing Melancholy
by volleydork
Summary: Shinomiya's mother dies. Yukihira's there to comfort him. [Shinomiya x Yukihira]


The Ways of Circumventing Melancholy

Shinomiya was a bit of a kid.

Okay, so perhaps he was twenty-eight. But, even so, he was still a bit of a kid. No, he didn't sprinkle sugar on his cereal (only milk, thank you very much) nor did he sit up past his bedtime watching cartoons on his TV screen. No, no. He was too busy for cartoons. Running two restaurants at the same time made him busy enough, never mind running two restaurants while trying to make time to watch mindless TV drivel. But, he was a bit of a kid in the way that he relied heavily on his mother. Unbeknownst to the general population, he was a bit of a momma's boy. Actually, no. Scratch that. He was a huge momma's boy.

He'd gone through childhood and by extension, adulthood, never quite considering the possibility that there would come a day where he'd phone his mother up and she wouldn't be there to pick up the phone.

When that possibility becomes a reality, he's not quite sure how to cope.

Thankfully, Yukihira's a know-it-all when it comes to emotions.

The Ways of Circumventing Melancholy - Chapter One

It was a typical night at the Polar Star Dormitory when there was a knock at the door. Yukihira exchanged looks with the people around him. Before, they'd been exchanging cooking tips and discussing spice mixes for one of Yukihira's upcoming Shokugeki matches, but at the sound of knocking, their respective conversations dissolved into silence.

"We're not expecting anyone, are we?" Isshiki raised an eyebrow as he got to his feet, dusting off his apron. The others shook their heads. None of them knew who would come knocking at eleven p.m., after all. They might've assumed that it was Takumi with one of his stupid pranks as was often the case, but they all knew that akin to Yukihira, Takumi was also busy preparing for his Shokugeki matches. Takumi hadn't come by the dormitory for days, so it definitely wasn't him. "Yukihira? Any chance that Shinomiya's decided to drop by?"

Yukihira shook his head. "No, he's super busy. I haven't spoken to him in a while."

Shinomiya and Yukihira were currently seeing each other, although due to the large age gap between them, they didn't make a habit of being too public about their relationship. Yukihira hadn't even mentioned it to anyone, but the dormitory members had always had their suspicions. Yukihira and Shinomiya had always talked to each other whenever Shinomiya had come down from France for Totsuki-based purposes, and they'd seen Yukihira sneak off to phone Shinomiya on multiple occasions. That had been after their Shokugeki, and the habit had only become even more obvious after Yukihira's Stagiaire at Shinomiya's restaurant, considering that Shinomiya had soon started coming down to the dormitory himself just so that he could talk to Yukihira, rather than coming down on official business. They would usually end up talking outside or in the kitchen since Fumio suspected that the two would get up to not-so-PG things if they were left to their own devices in Yukihira's bedroom, but even so, that wouldn't stop them from sharing a few smooches every now and again (but only when no-one else was around to see them).

It had been during one of these heated make-out sessions in the kitchen when Yoshino had walked in and seen them kissing. It hadn't just been an innocent little smooch either. Yukihira had been sitting on top of a counter, Shinomiya had been standing between his legs while kissing him and their hands had been all over each other. It had been late at night, they'd thought that everyone was asleep and they'd decided that it was a good opportunity to share a bit of passion with each other. It hadn't helped matters that neither Yukihira nor Shinomiya had noticed Yoshino's entrance. Yoshino had stared in shock for a good minute and backed out when she'd eventually realised that the two had been beginning to veer into R-18 territory. Of course, Shinomiya and Yukihira never did cross the line into R-18 territory, but that wasn't to say that they never had the temptation. The temptation came to them quite often. But, they'd both agreed that it was best to wait until Yukihira was older to do anything which required the removal of clothes, so it was kissing they did.

After that kissing session, Yukihira had bade farewell to Shinomiya and gone upstairs, quickly dealing with the situation in his pants while wishing that he could hurry up and turn eighteen so that he could go further with Shinomiya. He'd promptly fallen asleep, feeling happy with how the day had gone as a whole.

However, the next day, he'd gone downstairs to find that everyone had been sitting around, waiting for him. He'd been confused at first, but once Yoshino had begun to explain that she'd seen Shinomiya and Yukihira together the night before, Yukihira had flushed bright red and had tried to say that he'd just been showing Shinomiya one of his fillings. Obviously, no-one had bought his excuse and he'd ended up having to admit that he was in a relationship with Shinomiya, but they weren't having sex and they wouldn't until he graduated from Totsuki. That had been enough to quell the concerns of the others, although to this day, they still didn't trust Yukihira and Shinomiya in a room alone. Yukihira didn't mind, as long as the news didn't spread across the whole of Totsuki. He knew that his relationship with Shinomiya could potentially get Shinomiya in trouble, which is why he was trying his hardest not to bother Shinomiya too much whenever he was out of the country. Two weeks had passed since they'd last messaged each other, and Yukihira really missed him, but Yukihira didn't message. Last time they'd spoken, Shinomiya had mentioned something about being really busy trying to find a new sous chef and something about Abel resigning. He didn't know. But, Shinomiya was busy, and Yukihira knew better than to badger him for attention.

"Hey, maybe it's Takumi again," Yoshino said, sending a suggestive glance in Megumi's direction. "He loves visiting you, huh?"

"It's only for class stuff," Megumi insisted. Yoshino raised her eyebrows in response, although she didn't say anything. The chemistry between Takumi and Megumi was as clear as day, but Yoshino knew that the two of them would act on the chemistry in good time. At least, when Megumi got over her little crush on Yukihira. Megumi really did have the worst luck. Her first crush, and it had turned out to be on someone who didn't even like girls.

Again, there was another knock on the door.

"One of you going to answer that door?" Fumio called out from the kitchen, wondering what was taking those kids so long to go and answer the door. "My hands are full here. I can't get to it."

"I'll do it," Isshiki said, beginning to walk out into the hallway. The others watched from where they were sitting as the apron-clad chef approached the door, turning his attention onto the others once more. "Drum roll, please?"

With a very, very loud drum roll acting as a precursory diversion to the main event (i.e. discovering just who was knocking at the door at eleven p.m. on a school night) Isshiki gripped the doorknob before pulling it back with a flourish, the wind outside whipping the door back so fast that it almost broke its own hinges.

At first, the others couldn't see who it was at the door. But, then, Isshiki turned back to face the others, raising a shapely eyebrow in Yukihira's direction.

"You sure Shinomiya's busy, Yukihira? 'Cause he's at the door right now."

Yukihira jumped up to his feet and sprinted forwards without a hint of hesitation, bursting into the hallway as he bounded towards the door. And, true to what Isshiki had said, Shinomiya was standing there, but he didn't really seem like himself. He was fiddling with his hands. His smile was nowhere to be seen. And, he looked like a shrivelled husk of himself.

"Hey, Shino—"

Yukihira drifted off when Shinomiya clamped his arms around him without warning, enveloping him in a hug. Yukihira was faintly aware of the others ooo-ing and Isshiki making a joke about how he'd excuse himself before their hugging session got R-18, but he was more focused on how it felt to be in Shinomiya's arms. He was cold, most likely from the harsh, windy weather, but even so, Yukihira's heart was blooming with warmth as he returned the gesture, his arms holding Shinomiya as close as was physically possible. He was warm from sitting inside with his friends and eating good food, so he would share that warmth with Shinomiya. He'd share every last inch of it with Shinomiya and hug him until Shinomiya felt good. Until Shinomiya smiled.

"You haven't messaged me in two weeks," Shinomiya mumbled.

"You haven't messaged me," Yukihira responded, clinging onto Shinomiya even tighter. "I thought I'd be bothering you. Aren't both SHINO's really busy right now?"

"Yes. But I don't care," Shinomiya said, exhaling deeply as he relaxed into Yukihira's embrace. "I really need you right now, Yukihira. I'm sorry to disturb you this late, but—"

"No. Don't apologise," Yukihira said, pressing a kiss to the side of Shinomiya's neck. "I want to see you."

"I know we agreed not to distract each other too much in these three years," Shinomiya continued, his voice heavy with emotion as he began to lean his head on Yukihira's shoulder, "but I just need you. A lot. Right now."

"What happened?"

There was a brief silence before Shinomiya spoke once more. "Your buddies are watching us like we're token gay characters on a crappy TV soap." The joke was a usual Shinomiya quip, but it was still lacking its usual energy. There was definitely something up with Shinomiya, and it wasn't just to do with the fact that Yukihira hadn't messaged him into a while. "Can we talk upstairs?"

"Not allowed," Yukihira murmured in response. "Apparently, we're not trusted to be alone together."

"Please." Shinomiya had moved his lips closer to Yukihira's ear so that he could whisper without any of Yukihira's dorm buddies hearing him. "I want to cry right now, and I don't want to do it with an audience."

Shinomiya's voice had cracked at that point, and Yukihira clung onto Shinomiya even tighter, sensing that something really was wrong. He kicked the front door shut with a free foot and rubbed Shinomiya's back in what was intended to be a soothing motion before pulling out of the hug at last, pressing his lips to the tip of Shinomiya's nose before nodding. "Give me a second. I'll ask."

Shinomiya nodded and stood to one side, allowing Yukihira to quickly manoeuvre past him so that he could rush off to the kitchen and ask Fumio to let him off this once. However, the second he stepped into the kitchen, Fumio was already responding to his unvoiced question. "No."

"But—"

"No," she said once again, turning her head to face Yukihira. "This isn't a love hotel."

"We're not having sex," Yukihira insisted. "He's really down about something. Everyone's watching us. We just need to talk in private. Please, Fumio-san…" Yukihira put his hands together pleadingly and even went as far as to put on puppy eyes, the desperation gleaming in his eyes as he silently begged Fumio to give in. He needed to know what was up with Shinomiya.

"…fine," she said at last, nodding her head once. "But if I hear a peep of noise from your room which doesn't sound innocent, I'm busting the door down."

"Yes! Thank you," Yukihira said, bowing his head once in thanks before departing and bounding back over to Shinomiya, whose facial expression hadn't changed from how it had been when Yukihira had went off. He went and grabbed Shinomiya's hand and reached up to poke his cheek, hoping that it would make Shinomiya smile. Shinomiya's frown eased off slightly, although it didn't crack into a full-on smile. "We're good. But, we have to be completely innocent."

Shinomiya simply nodded. Yukihira frowned, having expected Shinomiya to make a smart comment. Yup, something really was up with him. He proceeded to tug Shinomiya upstairs by the hand, tugging until they'd made it out of the sight of his nosy dorm buddies and into his room, where no-one could pry (well, unless Isshiki decided to carry out his night-time activity of ceiling roaming). Once Yukihira shut the bedroom door and locked it, he turned to see that Shinomiya had collapsed onto Yukihira's bed, his head buried in the thick pillows.

"I feel like I'm dead on the inside," he mumbled.

"Hey," Yukihira said, approaching him and getting down on his knees so that he was level with Shinomiya's head. He began to stroke Shinomiya's hair until Shinomiya turned his head so that he was facing Yukihira. It was then that Yukihira noticed that Shinomiya's eyes were watering, although he wasn't crying. Yukihira plucked Shinomiya's glasses off his face and placed them to one side before questioning Shinomiya at last. "What's up, Shino?"

"My mother," he mumbled at last, looking as if it physically pained him just to speak the words. "She… she passed away."

"Oh God," Yukihira said, everything finally beginning to make sense. He didn't hesitate to throw an arm around Shinomiya's body, pulling Shinomiya close to him. "That's why you're so sad…"

"I never got to tell her the truth," Shinomiya continued, his voice quiet, almost sheepish. "Didn't get to tell her that I'm gay. Didn't get to tell her I'm seeing someone. Didn't get to introduce you to her. It was bad enough when Dad left, but now I'm officially parent-free…"

Yukihira knew that it technically wasn't his tragedy to cry over, but he could still feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes as he moved to lie in bed next to Shinomiya, shifting so that he could give Shinomiya a proper hug as he buried his head into Shinomiya's shoulder, using Shinomiya's thick sweater to wipe his tears away. "Shino, you know you're always welcome to my family. Always."

"Your dad doesn't even know about me yet," Shinomiya mumbled, his voice muffled by Yukihira's shoulder. "He'd go crazy if he knew, huh?"

"Well, he knows I'm gay," Yukihira began, still sniffling away his tears, "but not that I have a thing for guys almost twice my age. Nor does he know that my boyfriend's the one and only Shinomiya Kojirou." Putting on a business-like voice, he continued, almost as if he were listing Shinomiya as an advertisement. "The media think he's a 'brutally honest man'. I think he's the sassiest gay to walk the planet. Purchase now for the small price of your sanity, and get some really good kisses in return. Oh, and monologues about the good ol' days when he's not insulting you."

Shinomiya finally let out a chuckle, although it was a short-lived chuckle. He reached a hand up to Yukihira's hair and began to stroke it, his other hand rubbing Yukihira's back as he continued to cry into Shinomiya's shoulder. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Crying for me," Shinomiya said, letting out a deep sigh. "It's been killing me. I want to cry. So badly. But I can't cry. I feel so fucking weird. I just… I don't cry. You know, when I found out, I couldn't even react. I felt as if my entire life had just crashed, and I couldn't do a thing about it. Mother's the entire reason I opened a restaurant in Tokyo. I wanted her to be able to enjoy my food. I'm glad she got to come to my opening night and enjoy my cooking, but… I wanted her to be able to eat all my dishes after that, too. I wanted to keep seeing her smile. It fucking kills. I don't know how to feel…"

Shinomiya had begun to tremble in Yukihira's arms, so Yukihira held him even tighter, shifting his head slightly so that his head was nestled in the crook of Shinomiya's neck. He pressed a kiss to Shinomiya's neck before lying his head on Shinomiya's shoulder, tears freely streaming down his cheeks as he raised a hand to Shinomiya's hair, stroking it in a similar manner to the way that Shinomiya was stroking his hair.

"I'm here for you, Shino. Every step of the way," Yukihira promised, his voice still husky with emotion. "I can cry for the both of us. We can grieve together. I'll stand by your side for every single step. I promise. Okay?"

Shinomiya silently nodded before turning his head and pressing his lips to Yukihira's, in desperate need of a kiss. Yukihira returned the kiss, gently pressing his lips to Shinomiya's as his hand slipped out of Shinomiya's hair and into Shinomiya's hand, grasping it firmly as they pulled away and transitioned into a hug once more, Shinomiya breathing heavily as he relaxed into Yukihira's embrace, his tears never quite breaking through and coming out. They were there, but they just wouldn't leave. Shinomiya wanted to cry, wanted to cry until all of the pain went away and left him breezy and able to keep running things. But, life wouldn't let him have it that easy. It was going to take him a long, long time before he felt stable enough to function without his mother.

After the Stagiaire period, Shinomiya had fallen into the habit of contacting his mother much more often, making sure to message her at least every other day. He'd been hoping that he would be able to muster the courage to tell his mother the truth about his sexuality, but it had only seemed to become more difficult to say as time had gone on. Meanwhile, his mother had never once mentioned feeling ill, never once mentioned that she was dying. Shinomiya wished that she'd mentioned it sooner. But, with that said, Shinomiya's mother probably would've liked to hear the truth whenever Shinomiya declined being in a relationship with someone. Shinomiya sure wished that he'd told her the truth. The fear of getting disowned didn't seem so grave now, because Shinomiya's mother had loved Shinomiya enough that Shinomiya was pretty sure that she would've tried her best to understand. She wouldn't have disowned him.

"I wish I'd told her about you," Shinomiya mumbled, regret aching in his every muscle. "God. I wish she was still here…"

"She's not gone. She's still in here," Yukihira said, gently patting Shinomiya's chest area. "She's still egging you on. I can hear her. _Why isn't your room clean, Kojirou_?"

Shinomiya was able to crack a smile this time, although there was still sadness lingering in his eyes. "God, don't tell me you're planning to take on the role of being my mother figure."

"No, don't worry. That would be incest."

This time, Shinomiya burst into laughter, which felt pretty weird. He hadn't laughed or smiled ever since hearing the news, but all of a sudden, when he was in Yukihira's warm embrace and holding the little runt close to his aching heart while Yukihira made his usual comments… he felt okay. Not better, but okay. "Idiot. I said mother figure, not mother."

"Same concept," Yukihira said, rolling his eyes. "I'll stick to being your loving boyfriend."

Shinomiya reached out and wiped Yukihira's tears away from his face, pressing a kiss to either side of Yukihira's cheeks once he was done. "She would've loved you, you know. She really would've."

"Then, just give me double the love to make up for it," Yukihira responded, turning so that he could reach over to his nightstand and grab something out of the drawer. He pulled out a bag of jelly beans before turning back over so that he was facing Shinomiya and ripped the bag open. "Lemme feed you jelly beans. Whenever I'm sad, I eat jelly beans and they make me feel great."

"This is why you're never going to get a better six pack than me," Shinomiya responded. Yukihira simply grinned and fed Shinomiya a jelly bean, glad to see that Shinomiya's personality was slowly beginning to return to him. He knew that Shinomiya was still hurting beneath that exterior of his, and Yukihira felt extremely privileged to have had the opportunity to see Shinomiya throw away the tough act and open up to him. He knew that Shinomiya wasn't a man who liked expressing his emotions, so it was a pretty huge deal for both him and Shinomiya. It was one step further in this little relationship of theirs.

"A few jelly beans never hurt anyone. Come on. Look at you. You're already smiling—"

"I'm not smiling—"

"You are! Aww, you're so cute," Yukihira said, poking both of Shinomiya's cheeks. Shinomiya was trying to look irritated as he batted Yukihira's hands away, but the smile was pulling hard at his cheeks despite his best attempts to hold it back.

"God, you're definitely like a mother figure," Shinomiya said, groaning when Yukihira continued to attack Shinomiya's cheeks with his fingers. It took a bit of wrestling, but at last, Shinomiya had managed to keep Yukihira's hands at bay. He'd gotten his own two hands and pressed them against Yukihira's hands, keeping Yukihira's hands pressed down firmly on the small patch of duvet between the two of them. They'd gravitated away from each other slightly during the poking match, and the jelly beans had also become a little bit scattered over the duvet.

Some silence passed between them as they began to eat jelly beans, Isshiki poking his head down from the ceiling at one point.

"Fumio's orders," Isshiki offered as explanation, smiling when he saw the jelly beans. "I'm just here to check that you two still have your clothes on. Looks like you're still being innocent. Anyways, throw me three jelly beans and I'll go away."

Yukihira was quick to oblige. However, Isshiki complained that he didn't want the orange one and that he wanted another pink one to match his apron. But then, when Yukihira threw him a pink one, Isshiki complained that he wanted a bigger pink one so that he could savour the flavour more, along with a request to exchange his green jelly bean for a red yellow bean. So, it had taken the two quite a while to get rid of Isshiki, but at last, he'd disappeared back up into the ceiling, sliding the ceiling tile back into place. Shinomiya and Yukihira were on their own once more, simply gazing into each other's eyes as they chewed on jelly beans. Yukihira's hand absentmindedly reached up to Shinomiya's face every so often, his fingers feathering along Shinomiya's soft chin and pulling Shinomiya closer to him so that they could kiss. At one point, they even found themselves exchanging jelly beans through kisses (although Shinomiya quickly put an end to it when Yukihira bit down on his tongue instead of the jelly bean) and by the time the packet was empty, Shinomiya was lying against Yukihira's chest, his head buried into Yukihira's soft shirt. Yukihira looked down in admiration, smiling as he began to rub his hand against Shinomiya's back once more. He loved it when Shinomiya was vulnerable with him like this. Loved it.

"How long are you staying for?"

"Today, tomorrow, and I fly back Wednesday evening. I wanted to stay for a week, but things really are hectic over in France. If it wasn't for the fact that Mother's funeral is tomorrow morning, I wouldn't have been able to fly over at all." There was a pause, and then Shinomiya found a smaller, quieter question leaving his lips. "Can you—"

"Yes, I'll come with you to the funeral. No, I can't promise I won't wear my hanten. Yes, I promise we can go get hot chocolate afterwards. You can also have a hug."

Shinomiya quietly chuckled into Yukihira's chest and snuggled up a little more, smiling to himself as he realised that he really had hit the jackpot with Yukihira. This idiot had fallen for him, he'd ended up falling for this idiot just as hard, and now they were lying together, Shinomiya's mouth tasting of jelly beans and his nose filled with the scent of strawberry. The smell of Yukihira's shampoo was addictive, and his shirt smelt faintly of spices. Judging from the small spice pots that had been set out downstairs, they'd been mixing spices and talking before his arrival.

"You gonna sleep here for those two days then? Or are you getting a hotel?"

"Somehow, I don't think I'd be allowed to sleep in the same building as you for two whole days. Not after Yoshino caught us in the kitchen, anyway." Shinomiya chuckled once more to himself. "Makes me feel like I'm back in school. Sneaking around like a teenager…"

Yukihira giggled. "I can convince Fumio-san to let you stay. Even if you have to sleep on the couch or something. I can just slip in next to you when everyone's asleep. You can see my Shokugeki as well if you stay on campus."

"You're forgetting that she still has leverage over us," Shinomiya reminded him, his voice still muffled by Yukihira's shirt. "I step out of line, she goes to Senzaemon and casually drops the fact that I'm fooling around with a student. Ta-dah, I lose face and go to jail. Okay, maybe not jail since we haven't had sex, but I'll definitely lose face. Now that, my mother wouldn't be proud of."

"Mmm. True," Yukihira responded at last, letting out a sigh. Fumio had been the most reluctant in regards to accepting Yukihira's relationship with Shinomiya. It had taken a bit of sweet-talking from Isshiki for Fumio to let it slide, although she tended to keep an eagle-eye on their interactions to make sure that they didn't fool around in the dormitory. "Fine. In that case, you might need to get a hotel. But, you have to drop by the dorm every day you're here, okay? And make sure you come by before going to the airport. I want to cook with you at some point."

"Not against me?"

"Nope. It wouldn't feel like a win if I beat you while you're still sad," Yukihira responded, his hand reaching up from Shinomiya's back to play with the lower ends of his hair, twirling his fingers through the soft locks. "I'll build you back up with my support. Then, I'll crush you again in a Shokugeki."

"Again? You couldn't even touch me in the first one—"

"Shut up. You know what I meant," Yukihira muttered.

"Come here," Shinomiya said, withdrawing from Yukihira's chest at last so that he could lean up to Yukihira's lips. "I want one last kiss before I go."

"Wait," Yukihira said, his hand sliding from Shinomiya's hair to his chin, keeping Shinomiya's face at the perfect kissing angle. "Don't go. You can stay tonight. Probably not the second night, but… you know, it's already midnight. Fumio-san's not going to kick you out, and the spare room's being used by Nakiri. There's a futon somewhere, but let's just pretend I forgot, alright?"

Shinomiya blinked up at him. "You sure?"

"Mmhmm," Yukihira hummed, leaning forwards at last and planting a warm kiss on Shinomiya's lips. "You'll feel better if we sleep together tonight. I promise. I'll kiss you until you fall asleep."

"Your kisses excite me though," Shinomiya murmured, gently pushing Yukihira's head away from his lips. "I'm more likely to fall asleep if I'm out of your vicinity."

"Fine. Let's spoon," Yukihira quipped, pressing a kiss once more to Shinomiya's lips. He couldn't help himself. Shinomiya's lips were just so irresistible. "Well… after a few more kisses."

"Spooning? You're just asking for trouble now," Shinomiya responded, laughing as he placed a hand to Yukihira's temple, toying with a few stray strands of red hair. "Come on. Let's be responsible."

"Responsible is me not letting you go," Yukihira said, his tone suddenly becoming quite serious, "because you'll fall apart if I do."

"Oh, way to make it serious." Shinomiya rolled his eyes, but he knew it was true. His heart was still aching. He'd only found out the news a week ago, and while he'd battled with calling Yukihira for comfort, he'd avoided it since he knew that there were some pretty intensive Shokugeki going down at Totsuki. He'd initially gone to Hinako, his best friend, to talk about it, but by the time he'd flown over to Japan to attend the funeral, he'd been unable to resist the urge to hurry straight to Totsuki so that he could see Yukihira. He didn't regret coming. His heart was aching so much, almost as if it had been exposed and probed by the demon that was grief, and at the same time, it felt so full whenever he was in Yukihira's presence. He was hurting so much, yet at the same time, he felt warm. It was weird. Both emotions were acting on him at the same time, but right now, Yukihira's presence seemed to be taking precedence. The warmth. The… peace.

"Come on. Let's get under the sheets," Yukihira said, momentarily pulling away so that he could reach for the blankets at the foot of the bed (he hadn't bothered to make his bed that day) and pull them over himself and Shinomiya, engulfing the both of them in warmth. "We won't spoon. Just… let me fall asleep in your arms, please."

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm still wearing jeans," Shinomiya reminded Yukihira. Yukihira had already been wearing pajamas upon Shinomiya's arrival — a pair of plain blue pajamas — whereas Shinomiya was still in the same attire he'd been wearing when he'd gotten off the plane.

"Take them off."

At that, Shinomiya felt his cheeks beginning to flush slightly. "That's the opposite of innocent, Yukihira."

"What? Fumio-san's not going to come and throw the sheets off us," Yukihira insisted. "Come on. You're with me. You can relax. I'll even take off my pajama bottoms if that makes you feel more comfortable—"

"Yukihira."

"What?" Yukihira blinked back at Shinomiya innocently, blinked back to the point where Shinomiya simply started to laugh as he shook his head in a 'what am I going to do with you' manner. He was beginning to wiggle his way out of his jeans, Yukihira could tell, and when Yukihira went to wiggle his way out of his own pajama bottoms, Shinomiya put a hand on Yukihira's to stop him.

"It's bad enough if I'm caught half naked, never mind you."

Yukihira pouted. "You saw me lock the door, didn't you? I bribed Isshiki-senpai with jelly beans. We're alone."

"Actually, no, you're not," Isshiki said, poking his head back into the room once more via his ceiling spot. At his appearance, Yukihira seemed to be visibly shaken while Shinomiya pulled the sheets over him even tighter. Isshiki simply laughed and rolled his eyes, somehow knowing that nothing inappropriate would happen between the two tonight. It was late, the two were snuggled up together and everyone had retreated to their rooms. They weren't stupid enough to start fooling around, at least, not tonight. Isshiki had been about to go back to his own room to sleep, but he'd decided to check in on these two again. He'd started listening in right around the time where Yukihira had told Shinomiya to get under the sheets with him. He didn't mean to intrude, but it genuinely was really cute to watch these two interacting with each other. The kind of bond they had was one which transcended age gaps, one which transcended societal norms. It really was rare, and Isshiki was glad to be witness to it.

"How long have you been sitting up there?" Shinomiya appeared to be genuinely violated by the fact that Isshiki had been casually listening into his private conversation with Yukihira, while Yukihira seemed to have gotten over his initial shock.

"Long enough," Isshiki said, a nonchalant expression on his face. "Get to sleep, lovebirds. I won't say anything to Fumio. Now, kiss so that I can gossip about it to the others—"

"Isshiki-senpai, go back into the ceiling."

Isshiki gasped in mock surprise as he placed a hand to his lips. "Fine, Yukihira. Be like that then." He went back into the ceiling, but appeared seconds later, throwing a red jellybean at Yukihira. "By the way, this flavour was gross. Ew. I'd rather eat orange."

Before Yukihira could respond, Isshiki had disappeared back into the ceiling and put the tile covering back on, leaving Yukihira and Shinomiya to converse amongst themselves once more. They'd been lying on their backs, staring over at the ceiling, but now, Shinomiya was turning so that he could practically drape himself over Yukihira's body, his head resting on Yukihira's chest. "Is this comfortable for you?"

"Mmm. I don't mind," Yukihira said, ruffling Shinomiya's hair with his free hand. Shinomiya let out a soft sigh of contentment and shifted closer to Yukihira, those amber eyes of his glistening with warmth through slightly droopy eyelids. This was most likely one of those extremely rare nights where Shinomiya would get to spend the night with Yukihira, so he wanted to savour every second of it. He didn't want to fall asleep.

"Remind me to rent a love hotel far, far away from this dorm when you turn eighteen," Shinomiya whispered at last, earning himself a burst of laughter from Yukihira, who was nodding in agreement. He loved this dorm and the people in it, but they truly could be nosy at times. The last thing Yukihira needed was an audience watching from the ceiling when he was having private time with Shinomiya, for God's sake.

"I don't even have to remind you," Yukihira murmured, all the while still running his fingers through Shinomiya's soft hair. "You've probably got it on a calculator. _Days until I can make Yukihira's ass mine_."

"Calculator? Methinks you meant 'calendar'," Shinomiya teased, although his tone soon became serious. "And, no. I don't, actually. If I wanted sex from a relationship, I would've gone for one of the numerous people that throw themselves at me. But, I want a relationship that's going to last forever. That's why I chose you."

"Aww. Shino, you're making my heart melt…"

"Let me hold onto you then," Shinomiya said, keeping a warm hand pressed against Yukihira's back. Yukihira's back was crushing his arm, but he could worry about that later. He just wanted to be as close to Yukihira as possible. "We'd hate for the contents to spill out now, wouldn't we?"

"Mmm. Something like that," Yukihira murmured, snuggling into Shinomiya's warmth. He was careful to keep his hips away from Shinomiya's hip area, but somehow he knew that by morning, they'd be tangled up in each other's bodies. Either that, or one of them would end up falling out of this bed, because Yukihira's bed wasn't exactly humongous. "You know, I want this to be forever as well. I know I'm young and lots of people will think I can't know or understand what love is, but… you mean everything to me. With you by my side, I'm improving. I'm getting better at cooking. You give me another reason to love my profession. You smile at me, and… I have a purpose. I've already got a purpose, beating my dad, but… you gave me something after that. Becoming your equal. Becoming good enough to sit at the top with you. You gave me something higher to aim for. You trust me, you look after me and… and you make me so, so happy. You understand me. You motivate me. And… your love makes me stronger, Shino. It makes me feel like I can conquer the world and give it to you on a golden platter. So, I don't know if that classifies as love, but if it does, I love you more than anyone else in this world. And I always will."

"For God's sake," Shinomiya muttered, the tears beginning to spill out of his eyes at last as he pressed his face down into Yukihira's chest, breathing hard as he tried to keep from crying. It was no use now. The waterworks had started, and he couldn't stop crying. Yukihira had set him off with that stupid, soppy speech. It had tugged at Shinomiya's heartstrings, they'd finally snapped after being put under so much duress and now he was sobbing into Yukihira's chest. He knew that Yukihira's dorm buddies could probably hear him, knew that he didn't like to make himself look weak, but his brain just didn't care anymore. He had to let it out.

"It's okay," Yukihira whispered, holding Shinomiya close to him as he continued to cry, his tears soaking through the shirt and onto Yukihira's bare skin. It was as if Shinomiya's tears were touching his heart, going through and communicating Shinomiya's every emotion to him in a way that Yukihira could fully understand. He understood, understood the feelings that Shinomiya had been keeping inside, the feelings that Shinomiya couldn't express, the feelings that Shinomiya had expressed. He understood it all. "Let it all out."

"Stupid dunce," Shinomiya mumbled, the tears still pouring out from his eyes. "You better not speak of this."

"I know, I know. Don't worry. I got you," Yukihira murmured, remaining still as Shinomiya continued to cry, mumbling an apology for getting Yukihira's shirt wet. Yukihira was quick to tell Shinomiya he didn't need to apologise, and he continued to remain where he was, holding Shinomiya until he had poured out his every last regret through the form of tears, until his tears had begun to subside, until Shinomiya's breathing had calmed down once more.

It was then, and only then, that Shinomiya's eyes began to drift shut at last. He felt strangely calm after crying, strangely peaceful. He'd never really cried before, but… weirdly enough, he'd needed it. A lot. Now that he'd poured it all out, he felt tired. And, before he could even think about what to say to Yukihira, before he could tell Yukihira that he felt the same way, he'd drifted off to sleep. But, it didn't matter. Yukihira already knew that Shinomiya felt the same way.

So, Yukihira simply smiled and appreciated the sight of Shinomiya lying on top of his chest, appreciated how peaceful he looked in his sleep. He was almost like a child with that innocent aura about him, eyelashes gently fluttering as he snuggled his head even further into Yukihira's chest. Yukihira smiled and leaned his head up so that he could press a kiss to Shinomiya's forehead, although he ended up having to blow away a strand of hair which had caught onto his lips. He chuckled to himself and admired Shinomiya for a few moments more before closing his eyes. He wasn't really too tired, but with Shinomiya's warm body on top of his, it wouldn't be long before he ended up drifting off to sleep. He'd been overworking himself these past few days with his Shokugeki preparation. So… he'd enjoy his moment to sleep. He'd lie here, enjoy the sensation of being in Shinomiya's presence, and he'd pray that sunrise never came. He could've easily stayed like this forever — actually, scratch that. Yukihira was already beginning to feel the urge to turn onto his side. He wouldn't because he didn't want to wake Shinomiya up, but it was still a little bit annoying.

Oh well. That was just one of those little things about love, wasn't it? Sometimes, you had to sacrifice your comfort in order to make your other half feel a bit more comfortable. It just so happened that this was one of those times. So, Yukihira sucked it up and continued to think about how happy he felt to be lying here with Shinomiya, how happy he felt that Shinomiya had opened up to him. He couldn't find it in him to be overly happy, considering that Shinomiya's bad news was still weighing heavy on his heart, but he was feeling glad that Shinomiya had rushed over to the dorm just to see him.

He loved Shinomiya, he really did. And, he wanted nothing more than to be with Shinomiya every step of the way. They'd spend this week mourning his mother, and most likely the next few weeks after that, and her birthday, and a bunch of other days, but there would come a day where Shinomiya would feel the lingering pain beginning to make him stronger. A day where it wouldn't hurt; a day where it wouldn't weigh down on his conscience so heavily. And, when that day finally came, Yukihira wanted to be there to witness it. Yukihira wanted to be at the same level as Shinomiya, marching proudly by his side. So, he was going to keep working hard. He was going to keep making delicious food. And, he was going to make sure that Shinomiya could keep on watching his every move.

It was on that note that Yukihira fell asleep at last, his heart feeling as if it were fit to burst with all the love and sadness and emotion that had been loaded into it. It might've spilled over, but Shinomiya was still holding him together, the same way that Yukihira was holding Shinomiya together. It was Shinomiya's tragedy, and yet, Yukihira's heart was aching as if it were his to bear. But, that was how being in a relationship worked. Pain was split between the two parties, and they carried it together. It was a lesson that Yukihira hadn't even had to learn. He'd just taken it into his stride and taken Shinomiya into his arms, ready for whatever this relationship of theirs had to bring. And while Shinomiya didn't always say it, he truly was glad for Yukihira's unwavering support. Yukihira was his rock. Always there, always supporting him. It hadn't even been a year since they'd met, and yet, they'd formed a bond synonymous with those formed over years, centuries.

Perhaps, they were meant to be from the beginning. It was one of those things that just… happened. In the cycle of life, anything was possible. You were born, you achieved things in life, and then, you died. Yukihira's achievement happened to be making Shinomiya realise that they were actually pretty compatible as lovers, while Shinomiya's achievement happened to be meeting Yukihira in the first place. And now, they were coming together to combat the biggest tragedy in the cycle of life: death.

Isshiki had been unable to help himself when he came by one last time. He'd just spied on Yoshino drooling on her pillow and snapped pictures for her to see in the morning, and now he was peeking into Yukihira's room once more, smiling when he saw just how cosy the two of them looked. Shinomiya always appeared so indomitable and serious to everyone else, but right now, he seemed really vulnerable and gentle.

"Only Yukihira could get a guy like Shinomiya to let down his guard like this," Isshiki murmured as he stared for some moments longer, a smile spreading across his face as he slid the ceiling tile back on for the last time. With that, the couple was finally left on their own to sleep, relaxing in the warmth of one another as they shared a dream about a world where no-one had to die, a world where no-one had to deal with funerals.

It was much, much sweeter than the real world. And, even so, they knew that there would come a time where they had to wake up. But, when they did wake up? It wouldn't matter. As long as they had each other, they could face any hurdles that came flying at them. Yukihira was Shinomiya's rock, but Shinomiya was Yukihira's purpose. You couldn't have one without the other.

Not to mention, they were chemically bonded by love. Once chemicals forced their way into the equation, it couldn't be broken. Not with electrolysis, nor with any other bond breaking process out there. So, while death was a tragedy which would undoubtedly shake the foundations of their relationship for some time… they would ultimately become stronger because of it.

And, one day, they'd be able to create a family of their own. Of course, they already had their little family of cooking utensils. Yukihira's special knives, and Shinomiya's favourite set of spatulas. Yukihira's numerous collection of bendy straws, and Shinomiya's collection of fine silverware. The list went on. But, in the future, a real, living family could be a possibility for them. Perhaps a cute little ginger kitten, if it didn't require too much attention. And maybe a kid, if the government ended up allowing gay couples to adopt kids in the future. It wasn't a possibility yet.

But, until that possibility became a reality, all they could do was hold onto each other and wait for the storm to clear.

-fin-


End file.
